[♥ July 27, 2007 @ 12:57am] those unnecessary private entries since march shall remain private. only the one before this post is publicised. i dont know if i should close this space of mine. i miss blogging real bad. but somehow, i lost the interest. how's me? life is not as stagnant as you may think. in fact, im pretty much happy with how my life is currently. i've made many new friends. they are love. seriously. &i must say, im proud of myself. that im actually kinda stronger than i thought i am. cheers to that! oh, if you see me down the street, smile okay. cause i swear you'll make my day. &girlfriends, random hugs will definitely make me love you more. &haha, i know i know. its about time i change the layout right? hehs. [edit] as of today, 05 october, nearly 3 months of procastination, layout's finally REFRESHed! hurhurr.. :D [/edit] 12 feel them vibes

[♥ July 09, 2007 @ 11:49pm] dear stranger, let's see. i dont know where to begin. you know im never good in putting everything to words. especially when everything's all over my head. so yeah, its been a month. &its sucha pity that between me and you, there's nothing that we share anymore. since day 1, i wanted us to last and go far. since day 1, i love you with all my heart. since day 1, i thought you would be the one. i never knew this is in fact happening. whatever the thing is stranger, i still wish the best for you. and maybe her, if there is. memories will be kept close within me. in fact, ive already placed them close in my heart. i still am thankful and grateful that it was you and not other guy that i get to spend my 2 years together with. from the bottom of my heart, i wanna thank you for taking care of me. you're a nice lad. i know that. thanks for everything. even the slightest thing you did, i truly appreciate it. swear. you know i believe in karma. and i know you do too. but i really pray hard that karma wont come by knocking your door. i dont want you to suffer the way i did. no. cause even when i seemed like a weakling, i know i can swallow it up eventually. but not you. its indeed very hard for me to move on. you know stranger, i must admit im very scared. very very afraid. ive never felt this feeling my entire life before. i remembered all those nights where i would cry and just continue crying, i never felt so lost before. i even wished you're here with me, hugging and wiping my tears away. &you know, 2 years is not a short period of time. i'll remember those days when you tried to change after every fight. i'll remember those days when you get all nervous each time you're at my place. i'll remember those days when you pampered me, buy me stuffs; i dont mind im not rich. i'll remember those days when you said im pretty, even with no make-up on. i'll remember those days when you held my hands tight; doesnt matter when its all sweaty. i'll remember those days when you took care of me. made sure i eat &didnt skip any meal. i'll remember those days when you cracked some jokes, just so i'll laugh. even when i said its lame. i'll remember those days when you smiled not showing your teeth, cause i like it that way better. i'll remember those days when you actually threw your ego aside after i told you about it. i'll remember those days when you showed the world that its me you're in love with. i'll remember those days when you held my hands in front of your friends. i told you i was nervous. i'll remember those days when you brag to them about me. how awkward i felt. but i actually liked it. i'll remember those days when you piggyback me &carry me like a little kid in the middle of the night. i'll remember those days when you pushed my back each time i climbed the stairs, cause i was lazy. i'll remember those days when you let me rest on your shoulders during those long train rides. i'll remember those days when i squeezed your bum, cause you're just too cute. i'll remember those days when we tried so hard to irritate one another. i'll remember those days when we got stressed on where to dine. i'll remember those days when you asked me to forever massage your back. i'll remember those days when you tickled me, when you pinched my nose, when you rubbed my chin. i'll remember those days when you'd scold me if i were to clip my fringe back. i'll remember those days when you just kept silent knowing you're wrong &let me have my say. i'll remember those days when you said you hate going shopping with me. but you still did. i'll remember those days when we acted shy with each other,cause we didnt see for almost a week. i'll remember those days when you turned to me &held my hands, each time i sighed. i'll remember those days when we hit east coast for our monthly beach therapy. i'll remember those days when you somehow seemed so perfect for me. i'll remember those days when we chat till late night. despite having morning class the next day. i'll remember those days when you always accompany me study in the cold library, for long hours. i'll remember those days when we took pictures, clicking &snapping like no one's business. i'll remember those days when you kept saying im unique &different from the rest. i'll remember those days when you laughed at me cause im very shy like that. i'll remember those days when you whispered those three words in my ears. i'll remember those days when you secretly tried to smell me. i'll remember those days when you gave in, gave in &gave in. i'll remember those days when you tried to AC non-stop. i'll remember those days when you kissed me goodbye. i'll remember those days when you were my boyfriend.. despite whatever things that happened, i still care for you. contradicting, but a lil favour, dont come back. &because this space itself has too much memories stored about you and me, im gonna close it. its painful to keep looking back from where we started. take care, you. sincerely, fylzah. 3 feel them vibes

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